i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
