cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
