her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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