We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
