porn star boner night. come get it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
