He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
