I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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