Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize