butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
