Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
