i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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