I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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