I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think your dad took our porno
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
