i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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