Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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