woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
