Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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