I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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