You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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