i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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