can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You are the jesus of drinking
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize