Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my shit smells like andre
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
