Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
