Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
