Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
