I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
