Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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