There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
