Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize