babies were throwing up all over the place
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
