Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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