I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
