Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
