I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
