someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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