We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
