i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
