i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we're making bets on your personal life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
