the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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