Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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