Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
