So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
