Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How does it feel to date your dad?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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