hell yes lets make some ravioli
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
