I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize