my phone needs a breathalizer
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
