I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
