Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
