How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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