Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
