i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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