It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
