just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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