Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I supernannyed him into submission
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
