I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
