So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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