we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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