i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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